I can see the headline in the Chase Post next week.
"Blaze at Great Wyrley Working Men's Club. Members suffer burns saving cheese cobs and pints of Grolsh, Coors and Coke".
Great Wyrley saw the biggest blaze since the Hawkins Lane inferno in 1971 when the bonfire was built around the club's 750 gallon gas oil tank.
Several members of the "Hankies" guitar club received burns to their extremities whilst attempting to retrieve drinks and cobs from the concert room.
The musical instruments were burned beyond recognition.
Fortunately all of the Fender Stratocaster type guitars were insured. By an amazing coincidence the 18 members all happened to have taken three "Masterbuilt"
Stratocasters with them that night.
A spokesman for the "Tipton 'Ommer Bashers Friendly Insurance Conglomerate" is said to have fainted when told of the potential replacement cost of all the guitars.
The official Hankies spokesperson who wished to be known only as "Amanda" was found wandering in a daze on the car park muttering. "I was only trying to warm me muffin".
Repair work begins immediately and normal Hanky Panky will take place next Tuesday.