Todays Guitar Joke

Any topic not covered in one of the specialist forums below

Moderators: David Martin, Iain Purdon, dave robinson, George Geddes

Todays Guitar Joke

Postby anniv 63 » 26 Mar 2020, 15:35

A woman phones the police to report that her husband has been killed by a Jaguar.
Oh yes madam says the officer, can you give a description was it maybe a Mark 10 or an E type
or maybe an escaped animal from a zoo?
Oh no says the woman the B.st.rd bought another Fender so I walloped it over his head!!!

Mike
anniv 63
 
Posts: 744
Joined: 10 Jan 2010, 17:16

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

Postby bazmusicman » 26 Mar 2020, 17:33

Ha Ha.....just what's needed to cheer us up!
bazmusicman
 
Posts: 251
Joined: 17 Sep 2009, 21:40
Location: North West london

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

Postby Stu's Dad » 26 Mar 2020, 21:30

:lol: :lol: :crazy:
Stu's Dad
 
Posts: 409
Joined: 22 May 2013, 15:34

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

Postby shadowriter » 27 Mar 2020, 09:11

Great stuff, keep em coming, makes the days a bit lighter.
shadowriter
 
Posts: 304
Joined: 23 Aug 2014, 12:56

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

Postby Uncle Fiesta » 28 Mar 2020, 15:51

Two women are sitting in a magistrate's court waiting for their cases to come up and get chatting:


"So what you in for?"

"I let my boyfriend's tyres down and when he drove off he had a nasty crash."

"Oh blimey."

"What about you then?"

"Oh, I broke my husband's guitars over his head."

"First offender?"

No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."
User avatar
Uncle Fiesta
 
Posts: 1188
Joined: 27 Apr 2012, 23:31
Location: near Gainsborough, England

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

Postby shadowriter » 30 Mar 2020, 12:51

What do you say to a guitarist in a suit?

Will the defendant please rise.
shadowriter
 
Posts: 304
Joined: 23 Aug 2014, 12:56

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

Postby abstamaria » 30 Mar 2020, 14:15

How can you tell it’s the lead guitarist who’s at the door?

First, he can’t find the key.
Second, he doesn’t know when to come in.
User avatar
abstamaria
 
Posts: 1237
Joined: 18 Sep 2009, 03:27

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

Postby Tone » 31 Mar 2020, 11:45

:D :D
User avatar
Tone
 
Posts: 342
Joined: 15 Sep 2009, 13:32
Location: Berkshire

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

Postby shadowriter » 31 Mar 2020, 12:05

abstamaria wrote:How can you tell it’s the lead guitarist who’s at the door?

First, he can’t find the key.
Second, he doesn’t know when to come in.

Loved this one, great stuff, keep em coming.
shadowriter
 
Posts: 304
Joined: 23 Aug 2014, 12:56

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

Postby Uncle Fiesta » 04 Apr 2020, 14:38

abstamaria wrote:How can you tell it’s the lead guitarist who’s at the door?

First, he can’t find the key.
Second, he doesn’t know when to come in.


No that's a singer.


Q - How do you get a lead guitarist to turn the volume down?

A - Put the sheet music in front of him.


And finally, a classical musician's joke:

Q - What's the difference between a guitar and a vacuum cleaner?

A - None, they both suck when you plug them in.
User avatar
Uncle Fiesta
 
Posts: 1188
Joined: 27 Apr 2012, 23:31
Location: near Gainsborough, England


Return to The Lounge

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 34 guests

Ads by Google
These advertisements are selected and placed by Google to assist with the cost of site maintenance.
ShadowMusic is not responsible for the content of external advertisements.