One from Australia...

[Tony]

When you're from the country, your perception is a little bit different.

A Queensland farmer drove to a neighbours' farmhouse in his Holden Ute, and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door
"Is your Dad or your mum home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mum and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other,and mumbling to himself.
"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Susie pregnant".
The boy thought for a moment...

"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $750 for the stallion, $500 for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."

[bazmusicman]

Brilliant!!!!

Baz.

[Pitts]

Good one..
Ray
NZ

[George Lewis]

Hi Tony,
Just shows how practical Aussie farmers have to be !!
Immediately sent it off to my neighbour ( 2 Km away ) who is a genuine ex-farmer (Urana NSW) ... (and also an ex-60's drummer !)

Hank and his Gypsy Jazz band almost played at Shepp recently ... I might suggest to Gary Taylor he get their Manager to organize a "major rural centre" tour ... Wagga Wagga, Albury/Wodonga, Shepparton etc. To save costs might even let Hank sleep with my tractor ... Gary and Nunzio can use the guest room/shed.
cheers
George