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Todays Guitar Joke

PostPosted: 26 Mar 2020, 15:35
by anniv 63
A woman phones the police to report that her husband has been killed by a Jaguar.
Oh yes madam says the officer, can you give a description was it maybe a Mark 10 or an E type
or maybe an escaped animal from a zoo?
Oh no says the woman the B.st.rd bought another Fender so I walloped it over his head!!!

Mike

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

PostPosted: 26 Mar 2020, 17:33
by bazmusicman
Ha Ha.....just what's needed to cheer us up!

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

PostPosted: 26 Mar 2020, 21:30
by Stu's Dad
:lol: :lol: :crazy:

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

PostPosted: 27 Mar 2020, 09:11
by shadowriter
Great stuff, keep em coming, makes the days a bit lighter.

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

PostPosted: 28 Mar 2020, 15:51
by Uncle Fiesta
Two women are sitting in a magistrate's court waiting for their cases to come up and get chatting:


"So what you in for?"

"I let my boyfriend's tyres down and when he drove off he had a nasty crash."

"Oh blimey."

"What about you then?"

"Oh, I broke my husband's guitars over his head."

"First offender?"

No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

PostPosted: 30 Mar 2020, 12:51
by shadowriter
What do you say to a guitarist in a suit?

Will the defendant please rise.

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

PostPosted: 30 Mar 2020, 14:15
by abstamaria
How can you tell it’s the lead guitarist who’s at the door?

First, he can’t find the key.
Second, he doesn’t know when to come in.

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

PostPosted: 31 Mar 2020, 11:45
by Tone
:D :D

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

PostPosted: 31 Mar 2020, 12:05
by shadowriter
abstamaria wrote:How can you tell it’s the lead guitarist who’s at the door?

First, he can’t find the key.
Second, he doesn’t know when to come in.

Loved this one, great stuff, keep em coming.

Re: Todays Guitar Joke

PostPosted: 04 Apr 2020, 14:38
by Uncle Fiesta
abstamaria wrote:How can you tell it’s the lead guitarist who’s at the door?

First, he can’t find the key.
Second, he doesn’t know when to come in.


No that's a singer.


Q - How do you get a lead guitarist to turn the volume down?

A - Put the sheet music in front of him.


And finally, a classical musician's joke:

Q - What's the difference between a guitar and a vacuum cleaner?

A - None, they both suck when you plug them in.